Hello. This post is in answer to the anonymous poster for the post about learned helplessness. For whatever reason, it is not allowing me to post a comment, and so I am just going to post this as if it is a blog. Others may also be able to read it and comment on it as well. Also, a reader has suggested I change a setting that will make commenting easier so that all can post using the comment feature on the blog itself. I do hope it is successful for all of you.
Children who are blind should be encouraged to experiment. If you know the individual child, you should be able to tell if the child has the ability to perform a certain task independently based on your interactions with and observations of the child, and based on the child's age. For example, you wouldn't ask a four-year-old to light up the grill and have at it, but you might encourage a teenager to do this. Therefore, my answer to this question would be to ask: Would you ask a sighted child of the same age and maturity level to perform the specific task? If the answer is yes, then the child who is blind should also be expected to perform the task. Remember, as I said in the blog, it is the method for accomplishing the task that will be different. For example, a sighted child will use vision to navigate from the kitchen out to the driveway when taking out the trash; a blind child will use a long, white cane in place of vision as he accomplishes this same chore.
The rest of the answer to your question deals with motivation. My first tip would be to never tell anyone, whether it be a parent or a blind adult, that he or she is helpless or exhibiting learned helplessness. Also, do not insist that the term blind be used exclusively; you can incorporate this mind set later. For now, it is okay to say visually impaired, blind, etc. I do this on the blog so that I do not offend those who do have some vision because I want them to at least read and think about what I have to say. In other words, I don't want to be so rigid that they turn away immediately, and parents/guardians and blind adults will back away if you start telling them they don't know what they are talking about. Besides, if you listen to them, you may also learn something from them that you did not realize could be a useful technique
Rather, think of it as a persuasive research paper type of situation. You need to have others hear your argument, which is that your blind child can do more than is expected of them, or you, a blind adult, can do more than you expect you can. To get them to listen, you will probably need to first listen to them. Approach them as a concerned listener who is interested in what they have to say. Once the caregiver or blind adult is finished telling you how it just isn't safe for them to wash dishes because they could drop something and brake it or could cut their fingers off on a knife, you can then say something to the effect of how you understand their concerns. But, you have some ideas of how this can be made safe, and they are… When doing this, be sure to suggest that you start performing a task, and the moment it proves unsuccessful, you will stop the routine. This allows them to feel as if they have a safety net, and as a result, they will be more likely to agree.
Also, it is important to realize that you cannot control someone else's behavior. You have to allow them to make the decision to become independent or allow their child to become independent. If they are in the denial stage of blindness, you can only repeat what you have already said and do your best to get them around other blind people and other parents of blind kids. Nothing else can be done if they are expecting to be healed by a doctor, and so learning this stuff about functioning as a blind person isn't necessary for them. Of course, this is only in their mind, but until their viewpoint changes, you are not going to make much progress. Still, they will be observing other blind people and associating with parents of blind kids, and this will be beneficial for them later when they do realize it is necessary to make the best of their situation.
To get kids around other blind kids, you can check out summer programs in which skills of blindness are a part of the camp situation, such as the kids' camp held each year by Blind Industries and Services of MD or the teen program this same organization offers. Encourage the parents to allow their kid to attend. If necessary, focus on the activities such as swimming, and don't heavily focus on the fact that skills are a part of the lesson, though you don't want to hide the fact. If you can locate a camp that is free for the child to attend, meaning that it is free for the parent or guardian, you are more likely to persuade the parent to allow the child to attend. Also, invite the parent/guardian to NFB and ACB conventions and other events, such as chapter meetings, where parents of blind children are likely to attend. And, how about a buddy program where an adult who is confident in the abilities of the blind, a blind adult if available, spends time with a kid once per month doing something fun. When the parents aren't around, it will be much easier to allow a child who is blind to do things for him or herself. Remember, you can't change the behavior of others, and so you may feel as if you are talking to a brick wall when interacting with parents. Your best option might be to work with the child as much outside the home as possible.
This is only a brief answer to your question, and I hope it helps. Perhaps, other readers will also have more in depth advice for you. Anita
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